CELEBRITIES ARE EVERYWHERE you look these days. In the newspapers, on the TV, under your bed (if you don't believe me, look), hanging from meat-hooks and just about anywhere they can get a foothold.
Today I had the good fortune to meet two top stars, here in Edinburgh - I kid ye not! The first one was the major British character actor David Jason, who is famous for playing Del Boy in Only Horses and Fools.
As you would expect he was wearing a cunning disguise but not too cunning for yer man here, me, to get taken in by. Over the course of a fifteen minute chat, in which we walked briskly up Leith walk, David, or Davey Boy as I now know him, was playfully reticent about his career. I'll tell you this, too - he certainly keeps in shape because I had to run to keep pace with him.
Despite the distraction of his disguise as a middle-aged Chinese woman with a bag of groceries, I was still able to pose Davey Boy a few choice questions which he answered, if a bit reluctantly. He has no immediate plans to return to the aforementioned role of the cheeky cockney con man and, ever the comedian, claimed to have no knowledge of the Inspector Frost series, or even the legendary Whatsname blog! As if!
On the family front, and contrary to what I've read elsewhere about Dave, he has settled down with a Chinese family and now runs a restaurant in central Edinburgh. All too soon our lively conservation was over as Davey Boy indicated that he had an appointment at Gayfield Square Police station near the top of the Walk. He must have been late by the flustered look on his face. Probably researching a new acting role. I bade him good luck and continued up to Princes Street.
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The second mega-personality I met was the one, the only, Lord Mayor of London, Boris Johnson - yes, BOJO himself! Such is his unprecedented popularity with the British public that he has to hide his true identity, it would seem, and so he was made up to look like a police constable. He was initially a bit taken aback when I greeted him warmly and, winking and nudging furtively, whispered that I knew who he really was, and that I'd love to interview him for Whatsname!
'For whatsname?' he said, playing along like a pro, 'You "see through my disguise" and you want to talk about whatsname?'
'That's right, Bojo!' I said with a grin, 'Just give me the goods!'
I must say, he was a treat to interview - very patient and attentive and as curious about me as I was about him. Indeed he took copious notes in a small booklet. I was greatly impressed with his conscientiousness. He chose not to delve too deeply into his family history or his past political career, but remained refreshingly circumspect and general.
I told him that I'd met David Jason, and I mentioned the crazy disguise the top actor had been wearing. When I related that Davey had hurried off to the local police station after I'd interviewed him, Boris seemed genuinely fascinated by this morsel of news. He suggested we both pay a visit and pop in on Dave and the nice coppers. Well that's what we did and I had a great time. You won't believe me but the place was full of celebrities and pop stars, all in clever disguises - all doing showbiz research - and I spent a fun evening in a room with Cliff Richard and Mick Hucknall. These crazy japesters were dressed unrecognisably as tramps and they kept me entertained all night with their hilarious, yet incomprehensible, singing routines. It was with a heavy heart that I was thrown out unceremoniously in the morning.
Celebrities, eh? What are they like?
The matter is now closed.
