The Turner Prize has just sort of happened, with some guy winning a thing for something he painted or built or dragged from a swamp. Utter garbage. I, Roger Kaplan, present to you now the entry that should have won, if I had been entitled to enter it. It is a 2-piece work called '2-Piece Work' and it is of truly cosmic significance.
THIS IS A FAMILY SHOW, here at the Whatsname Blog-thingy, so get stuck in to these comic strips that I, Roger Kaplan (aka Whatsname) have doned for your interestification.
The first is a cautionary tale about a modern evil in our midst: the problem of chain-smoking giants.
The next one is all about the dangers of pent-up aggression, and the nightmare scenario of talking objects.
Thirdly I present a roller-coaster of an action thriller non-guaranteed to leave you breathless with boredom. It will soon be made into a major Hollywood blockbuster starring Ross Kemp and Private Eye magazine's Ian Hislop.
Enjoy, sortastyle.
TeamWhatsname are proud to present the first in a series of what we call ART AT ITS BEST. This is a showcase for exciting new artists and creative types to present their work, with a view to becoming stinking rich. So, if you have loads of money, don't know much about art but know what you like, then get your cheque book out and give us your bloody cash.
This first work is by a stunning cartoonist called Lionel Vinek from Scotchland. It's called 'Who Drew This?' and it's a searing commentary on the voyeuristic nature of modern society, heavily influenced by the writings of Camille Pissarro and Jules Giacomo. All he's asking is the paltry sum of £600, even though he slaved over this piece for five hundred five-hundredths of a minute. Check it out. This guy is destined to be a major playah. Flipmo.
Here's another one from the same human-type object. This dramatic piece, called 'Horse', represents, at the risk of stating the obvious, the unspoken subsurface rationale behind the veneer we call reality, as portrayed, as you know, through the lens of the Fourth estate - the corrupt and unaccountable news media. Taking as its theme the world of nursery rhymes, this daring work challenges the viewer directly to reappraise his, or her, assumptions. The price? £750. That's all. What are you waiting for?
This next piece has 'class' written all over it in invisible ink. Called 'Excruciation', it is a rallying cry for those who despise mediocrity elevated way above its rightful stature.
Be it.
Finally, have a butcher's at this one below. Entitled 'The Eagle has Landed' it wittily illustrates the social alienation of urban shepherds. It weighs in at £350 and is a bargain at that.
All orders delivered in plain wrappers.
